Wednesday, April 27, 2016

We try the Freddy Adu-approved Stouffer's Fit Kitchen meal to see if if holds up to Atlanta United standards

The main man Freddy Adu has caught some flack for gettin that paper, aka sponsoring some products on Twitter. He's got a new one that he's flashed a couple times now, Stouffer's Fit Kitchen.   

So is this all it takes to be a world class athlete? If I eat this will I be able to make an MLS roster?

 It's about time I make good on my unmade promise to make an Atlanta United 18. But first, we need to go to gym.

These are today's gym clothes. There are many like them, but these are mine.

Notice the mismatched brands. I am a free agent, so to speak. Translation: plz send me sponsors.

Once in the gym you should only be doing one thing - squats. I usually do about 500 consecutive squats and 25 sit-ups (to keep it tight) before dipping out.

All legs, no chest.

Time to refuel those quad muscles. Head to Publix and find the Fit Kitchen for $3.99 in the freezer section.

Procured. Went with the roasted chicken, potatoes and broccoli because thats what Freddy had in his tweet, but some of the others had sweet potatoes and looked more "appetizing."

What else we got in this stuff?

Dammmmmmmn. Salt bomb, as to be expected. Less than 300 calories though so its LA Fitness  Atlanta United appropriate (don't ask how it just is). 

Looks about right. Time to "prep," as in peel the corner of the film and stick it in office Emerson for 5 minutes [ed note: nothing being promoted as healthy should be in a plastic microwaved tray for 8 minutes.]

*beep^ding*microwave noise^

Time to stir.

Wait, do I stir the wine sauce in with everything? I'm going to stir the wine sauce with everything.

Put back in for final 3 minutes.

You should always move Lean Cuisine-type meals onto company provided paper plates once finished cooking to convince your coworkers you brought that ish from home. Also, choose the appropriate beverage for your Adu-inspired creation. Yeah, I know it's not Sierra Mist but you try to find some.

The taste? The broccoli is surprising good and the chicken and potatoes faired ok out of the nuke. That sauce is liquid NaCl tho.

How good am I feeling? Freaking strong. Bout to run through a wall. Definitely ready for another open tryout to come around.